Tending your Daisies

Most of you will have tried to grow a thing or two, whether it be a lemon tree in the back garden, some mint by the tap, a decorative pot of basil on your window sill, or even just your child’s straggly school-project runner bean. We at Dune Daisies applaud you for your efforts and have faith that they have not been in vain, whatever your success rate (disclaimer: we both confess to having killed the odd plant or two, entirely by accident). In our books, any attempt at planting deserves a daisy high five.

We also understand that this time of year is particularly trying for those attempting to grow the odd salad green. It’s just too cold, there’s not enough sun and the back garden has become a football pitch/dogs running track/weed-infested jungle while your back was turned. Well, as we have often mentioned, we are here to make your lives that little bit sparklier. So please do read on to find out how, what and where you can grow some edible greens during these winter months.

On your marks…

First up, you need to assess what space you have to grow your greens as that will determine your ultimate seed/planting choice. Here are a few options:

1) Indoor windowsill/Indoor pots

We do not all have the luxury of sprawling acres of garden in which to plant. Fear not – there are a variety of greens that will happily grow inside in a pot or otherwise well-drained container inside your house. Herbs are particularly useful to have on hand on your kitchen windowsill when preparing meals. A sunny spot behind a warming glass will allow you to grow summer fruits and veggies, deep into the winter months (think along the lines of the season extending benefits of greenhouses).

2) Planting boxes

Timber planting boxes that stand a few feet off the ground are not only amazing for those who have tiled/concrete gardens, but have the added benefit of being moveable – this flexibility allows you to maximise sun and shade around your house during the different seasons. During winter, you should aim to place your planting boxes in an area protected by the wind, but receiving maximum sunlight and warmth. Increase your available planting area by placing your planting box against a wall and allowing winter greens, such as peas, to climb up. You will not only be able to harvest more greens, but you will also beautify your erstwhile bare wall.

And for those who cannot source planting boxes, old car tyres will work just as well – and they can be stacked on top of one another to create deeper planting mediums.

3) Garden beds

The winter growing options available to you as the ‘ground gardener’ will all depend on how much sunlight your winter garden bed receives. Remember that the number of hours as well as the intensity of sunlight in winter is drastically reduced when compared to the sizzling summer sun. If you are lucky to have a well sheltered spot of garden, that gets its fair share of winter sun, plant from the list we have provided.

4) None of the above

If you are struggling to find the right place and spot to plant your winter garden, put word out there in your community, get together with a friend or two and make it happen. There are inspiring examples  of kerbsides becoming blooming edible gardens, old recycled cars sprouting onions from their open bonnets and cooperative garden clubs for those that want some company whilst donning their green fingers.

Cherry tomatoes in a planter
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/191051209169059765/
https://quotesgram.com/quotes-from-soil-dirt/

perma·cul·ture (noun)

“the development of agricultural ecosystems intended to be sustainable and self-sufficient.”

https://www.pinterest.com/rainbirdstore/gardening-humor-very-funny/

How to start a community garden…

WANT TO LEARN MORE & BECOME A GARDEN GURU?

Permaculture design course Courses – Permaculture Design

Get set…

So, now that you have earmarked where you are going to plant and what you are going to plant, a vital component determining the success rate of your green fingers project is your planting medium (ie: the soil). And not just any soil will do. We recommend getting in touch with either Clint at the Farmyard Nursery (Facebook), John Davies or Andrew at St Francis Bay Organics to obtain a couple of bags of affordable, top-grade potting soil/vermicast/compost to give your plants the best chance in life. And please don’t forget the importance of good draining before the soil gets chucked on!

And plant…

Okay, the time has come, you have done your research and created the best possible planting place and medium for your winter garden and you have sourced the appropriate seeds and seedlings. Now comes the fun bit. Remember to space out your plants/seeds with an eye to the size of your future harvest – no self-respecting bean wants to be too close to those pesky, sprawling swiss chards. Check online or on the back of seed packets for spacing recommendations. Watering in these drought-filled months will always be an issue; be mindful of how often and when you water your plants – top tip: utilise the last dregs of your fur baby’s water bowl, catch the extra water used to prime your coffee machine and collect your dish wash water in the sink – your veggies and our local dam levels with thank you. One last word on waterwise gardening (and this really deserves its own blog); one cardinal rule is to never have any bare soil showing in between your greens. Yes, we know that it looks tidy and pretty to all you A-types out there, but it’s just not sustainable. Breathe in, allow a bit of wild into your garden (whether it be a pot/container or bed), mulch away and ensure that every bit of water you pour around your plants gets utilised (and not evaporated or runoff).

https://degrafffamilyfeed.blogspot.com/2021/02/windowsill-planter-with-drainage-this.html

DIG DEEPER:

Websites: Life is a garden https://www.lifeisagarden.co.za/growing_a_veggie_patch_for_beginners/

Seeds for Africa: Planting guide for the Eastern Cape

https://www.seedsforafrica.co.za/pages/eastern-cape-vegetable-planting-guide

 

BEDSIDE READING TO INSPIRE SLEEPY SEEDLINGS:

Jane’s Delicious Garden

FILL UP YOUR SEEDLING & SEED SHOPPING BAG

https://www.pinterest.com/biofloraglobal/gardening-humor-and-vegetable-puns/

And don’t forget….

Gardening is a lesson in patience, gratitude, determination, empathy and … more patience. If at first you don’t succeed, have another go, just please don’t give up. As when you bite into that first winter-grown bean or fill your sarmie with some fresh, crunchy, just picked lettuce, you will feel thankful for these small blessings.

 

PS All soils are NOT created equal:

  • Potting Soil – for planting in containers
  • Vermicast – to add to soil to help with water retention and nutrients
  • Compost – to add to soil to boost nutrients

http://balconygardenweb.com/growing-vegetables-in-pots-starting-a-container-vegetable-garden/

by admin

Sunrise swimmers in Camps Bay

Keen for a Dip?

For many of us, swimming in the ocean is something done at the height of summer, often to cool off after a spell of tanning. A brief, refreshing dip. There may even be some Dune Daisy readers brave enough to take it one step further, don a wetsuit, grab a board and ride the blue, peeling waves deeper offshore. But how many of you willingly and unwaveringly take to the ocean, day in and day out, come rain, shine, wind, fog (and everything in between), to cold water swim? To brave temperatures chilly enough to numb your extremities and make your teeth chatter? Well, if you do, you belong to a growing group of like-minded folk. Not extreme athletes, just regular people like you and me. People who get a physical and mental boost from taking time out in nature, immersing their bodies in the cold ocean, supporting their fellow ‘dippers’ and performing this invigorating and somewhat crazy ritual every day.

Interested? Think you are up for the challenge? Well, you are in luck, as St Francis Bay has its very own cold water dipping group, aptly named the ‘Naughty Nauticals’. And they are celebrating the upcoming Winter Solstice with a special early morning swim – find out more about them in the interview below with founding member Sandy Coffey, and take the plunge this Wednesday to honour the Solstice!

Grannys Pool at Sunrise

THE NAUGHTY NAUTICALS

It all began when my brother asked a simple question on Christmas Day 2020.  He just said, “I don’t know why you are not swimming every day”. Right then and there I committed to getting into the water every day for a year.  Rain, sun, wind, hail, lightning – whatever came my way.  Of course, it was easy because it was summer, but by May, I was starting to realise that I had to dig deep.  But it was too far into the year to give up, so I just carried on.

“Being a St Francis Bay local as opposed to a SFB holidaymaker are two vastly different things:  As a non-local it can time to feel part of the community and find your “tribe”. Joining the Nauticals has made all the difference.”

Debbie Andrew

For 18 months, I swam alone.  No one seemed remotely interested.  Except for my friend Willem Bosman.  He came to me after a dinner braai one day and said he wanted to “try it out”.  It was winter, so I never thought he would. But he did. And he hasn’t missed a day since.  Slowly he began bringing newcomers.  And before we knew it, there was a committed bunch of ocean dippers.  And that’s when we gave ourselves the name “Naughty Nauticals”.  And even got T-shirts made for us!  So that is how it all started.  Today, it’s a robust, fun, brave group of interesting human beings.

We ocean dip (not to be confused with actual swimming training!) every morning at 7.30 am at Grannies Pool.  Most stay for a warm-up coffee after the dip. Ages range from 16 to 85.  There isn’t much of a routine.  Whoever pitches up gets in and joins the fun.  No pressure to stay in for any length of time.  Whatever suits.  No rules.  Except that you have to get your hair wet!!  There is a lot of talk about what the temperature of the water is.  A LOT.  So much so, that one of the dippers brings a thermometer to check!

I got to hear about Wim Hoff after about a year of my solo swims – and I did a whole lot of research.  I wouldn’t consider us Wim Hoffers, rather, cold water immersion fans!  There is so much research to back up the amazing effects of cold-water immersion – increased immune response, clearer minds, sharper responses, better sleep, and of course, daily discipline.

“I joined the crew after losing a bet with a mate – the best bet I ever lost.  It has introduced me to a new group of mates and unique experiences.  Even though not a regular at the moment, I always “catch on where I left off” with the bunch.  Amazing way to start the day!”

Trevor Gascoyne

Personally, my body has gotten used to that cold water – on the odd occasion where I have been unable to swim because of work commitments, my body misses it.  There is an addiction I can see happening!  A good one.

The hardest part is definitely getting in. And there is no easy way.  I find it best just to dive in, rather than go in slowly.  Best part is 10 minutes after the swim.  All the endorphins rush around your body and there is a beautiful sense of being alive.  And of course, there is the ocean.  I have learnt more about tides, wind, moon, sun and the ocean in these past three years than during my whole life.

We don’t really have any rituals, except if it’s someone’s birthday – then we stay for cake and coffee (thanks to Bruce’s Cafe for deliciousness!).  And now we are planning our first Winter Solstice event.  Anyone and everyone is welcome on the 21st June, 7.30 am.  Come and be part of the fun!

If it’s your first dip, here is my advice:  warm up your car beforehand; wear water shoes so your feet don’t get torn by the rocks, and bring a warm jacket to wear after.  You will find it very uncomfortable for the first two minutes in the water, and then the magic happens.  Your body gets used to it and realises there isn’t any actual danger and it starts to normalise.  Don’t get out before that happens.  And then, with curiosity, see how your day pans out.  I’ll bet something good happens.

If I had to pick one word to sum up how I feel after my morning swim, it would be:  ALIVE.

“It’s been a blessing to join the Nauticals.  My first dip was a few days after I experienced a traumatic home robbery in Johannesburg.  The early morning routine helped me to connect with my feelings and surroundings, the natural beauty of the area and the morning light, the joy and discomfort I felt as the curious otter circled us, the kindness, the humour, and discovering the stories and talents of my fellow immersers truly helped me heal.”

Gill Stern

“Last year I ended up in a coma for two weeks and in hospital for three months. I have always loved the sea but was concerned to go back to the water as I was paralysed on my left side.  When Willem’s wife, Leanne told me about this group of swimmers, I was excited although afraid as I didn’t want to hinder the others, but oh my word, I was overwhelmed by the kindness, support, help and encouragement, and getting back into the water has helped me with my physical and mental well-being. I feel my healing process has accelerated and I have benefited greatly from both the swimmers and the ocean.”

Karen

“When Sandy Coffey invited me along to join her one day, in the middle of winter, I couldn’t resist.  Primarily driven by the challenge it presented, I was also curious!  That first swim is still vivid in my mind.  I battled to breathe for the first 30 seconds but the sense of calm and accomplishment I felt as my body surrendered to the temperature was life changing.  The rest is history.  It is more than a year now and every day I crave the soothing feeling of cold water rushing over my skin as I take the plunge.  It is that and the discipline it takes (together with the addictive pheromones my body exudes) that brings me back for a wonderful start to the day.  Combine that with the daily changing beauty of the surroundings, the seagulls, the jumping fish, the odd inquisitive otter swimming with us, the enduring camaraderie and laughter we have in the water and the post dip coffee, being a Nautical is a no brainer!”

Willem Bosman

And if you find yourself further afield, fear not as there are cold water swimming groups in almost every bay and tidal pool around our coastline. Read on for the backstory on the Atlantic Waterbabies from Camps Bay in Cape Town. This intrepid group has been cold water swimming since 2015 and was even showcased on Carte Blanche!

DD: What motivated you to take the plunge?

Atlantic Waterbabies: Most of us had heard about the Wim Hof method and the various benefits of cold water swimming and were keen to try it out. The pressure from friends who were already hooked on it already was also a huge impact! The oldest member of the Waterbabies (Helen Boonzaier, 85yrs old) had so much FOMO when she saw our seemingly crazy bunch of people swimming in the freezing Atlantic that she just had to join!

DD: Tell us a little about your group

AW: We swim every morning at 7.30 am at the Camps Bay tidal pool or in the ocean, depending on the conditions and there can be anything between 5-20 swimmers at a time. Ages range from 30-85 years old and our backgrounds are as varied as the weather. Our only rule is that you immerse for a full 20 mins. We don’t follow the Wim Hof breathing method but do love the philosophy behind Cold Water Cryotherapy.

Some of us prep for the morning dip with some tea and crackers, or a morning meditation and writing ritual. Others set their alarm, get into auto-pilot mode, don’t think too much about what the weather conditions look like outside, and drive to the pool to meet the group.

DD: What motivates you to take the plunge every morning?

AW: There are so many reasons to keep dipping, including communing with the swimming crowd and chatting nonsense with each other; feeling the connection to the water and nature; the deep sense of peace; feeling the movement of the water, and of course the post-swim coffees and hot baths! The hardest parts are to take the first step of getting up in the cold, wet, dark winter months and to get past that moment of having to take off your warm fluffy robe and walk into the ocean.

Sink or Swim? Know your cold-water lingo

Wim Hof: Welcome to the Official Wim Hof Method Website

Cryotherapy: What Is Cryotherapy? A Guide to Cold Therapy | Everyday Health

Waterbabies on Instagram

https://instagram.com/atlantic_water_babies?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

https://instagram.com/coldwatersocialclub?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

DD: What changes, physically and emotionally have you noticed as a result of your morning swims?

AW: Apart from some members feeling years younger, there is no doubt that cold water swimming and the associated social interactions help to increase energy levels, boost the immune system and lighten emotional head space. The sense of comradeship and community, the coming together of like-minded people, has really become so important for our dippers and really has helped them through some very tough times. And for many, this seemingly simple ritual has provided the much-needed reason to get up in the morning – it really is the best way to start your day!

DD: Do you have any other rituals/ceremonies included as part of your group?

AW: We love it when a birthday comes around as we do a birthday circle in the water, singing and splashing and celebrating the birthday guy/gal. We also, of course, have our much-needed coffees post dip and we have had some wonderful swim gatherings on dry land; weekends away, nights at the opera etc. We have a sister group, The Mermaids, who swim after us (they get the sun!) and love to do full moon and Solstice swims.

DD: What advice would you give to someone interested in starting cold water swimming?

AW: All you need to do is try! The best thing to do is that once you have taken that first plunge, do it every morning for 6 days – then you will be hooked – your body and mind will demand more!

DD: And if you could sum up how you feel after your morning swim in one word, what would that word be?

AW: ALIVE, AMAZING, HAPPY, ENERGISED, RESET, FRESH, COLD

Well, fellow daisies, we are keen to give it a try and whether you are in St Francis Bay, Scarborough, Salt Rock or Syndey, why not take a dip into the ocean this Solstice? Celebrate the turn of the season with the pull of the waves. Immerse you body, free you mind and make a new friend or two. As Sandy so astutely said “if I can get into the ocean every day, then what else am I capable of doing?”  

by admin

Father's Day - Should we still be celebrating these Hallmark holidays?

In an age where inclusivity is encouraged and enforcing gender stereotypes is frowned upon, why do we make such a big deal about days that celebrate a particular gender and role? Why are we still bothering with these Hallmark holidays? Shouldn’t we celebrate our parents every day?

Does anyone consider how Father’s Day feels for the child who has lost their father or has an absent dad? It’s not an easy day and only reinforces what is missing or lacking in their lives. Or does anyone consider how it feels to be in a blended family where one loves like a father and does oodles of fathering but is not the biological father? Think of the family that has two mothers. Has society not evolved enough to where it can figure out a better way of celebrating traditional familial roles?

Besides, what can you learn from your father that you can’t from your mother? In a world where mothers can be breadwinners (the latest data reports that 41% of households in South Africa have a female breadwinner) and fathers are stay-at-home dads or moms do the ‘Iron Man’ and dads sew school play costumes, finding an answer to what only a dad can teach is more challenging. I know so many people who have lost a parent at a young age and grown up with only one parent. One parent fulfilling both the roles of mother and father – breadwinner and nurturer. Having two parents will always be better than having one – double the love, double the resources, and double the time. But given that there are 2.6 million single-parent households in South Africa (almost 30% of all households) and about 70% of those households are headed by women, I wondered if the children in those 1.8 million families would be lacking in anything in particular because they were not brought up with their father.

Don’t fret the small stuff. Dad taught me how to put life into perspective. There are bigger things to worry and stress about. There’s no point worrying about silly irrelevant stuff.

 

 

 

Be happy and grateful for the life you have. Remember how privileged you are to have the life you have and be happy

 

Ant to Ella

We accept that everyone is different and that nobody’s parents are the same. Children have individual needs and can even choose their own pronouns. As traditional gender roles slowly evaporate, is it even relevant to ask whether a dad teaches something a mother can’t?

The answer is probably not going to be popular (and maybe a tad unwoke), but I do believe men and women have different things to offer, especially as parents. Children learn things from their fathers that are unique. Of course, this is not to say that if you don’t have a father, you won’t learn these things, just as every parent has a varied approach. But sometimes the process of questioning something is useful. As a widow, mother of a young daughter, and someone who lost their biological father at an early age, this was a valuable exercise and I have gained some insight into what I can do to be a better parent to my child. It also made me realise that even though a biological father may not be present, many other male role models can fulfil these needs. Brothers, uncles, stepdads, cousins and even family friends play an important role and I should not forget to thank them for all they mean to us. All of these men have stepped up for us and play an important role in my child’s life, so I am enterally grateful to them.

The following list is based on conversations I have had with some of my special people (and even Chat GBT) about what it means to be a father and how they are different from mothers. By no means is this scientific data and it definitely doesn’t apply to everybody, but rather a simple list of observations.

No. 1. Dads like to play rough.

Somehow this comes instinctively to men. Flinging toddlers around upside down holding only one foot, wrestling on the floor with teenage boys larger and stronger than them, throwing kids into the pool – sound familiar? Yet, somehow it all ends up okay (even if there are a couple of tears). Dads will never be as careful as moms when it comes to playtime and kids love and need a little roughhousing!

No.2. Dads help build self-esteem for their children.

Our Dune Daisies dad, Ant has taught his kids to surf. Surfing teaches many things besides having the ability to stand on top of a board and ride waves. The first is obviously respect for the sea, but another vital skill is to acknowledge their fears and have confidence in their abilities.

The only thing to fear is fear itself. Dad said that to me when we were paddling out on one of the biggest days in the Transkei surf. He gave me confidence and taught me to be calm in stressful situations and to just breathe.

Ella

No.3. Dads teach us different ways to communicate.

Whomever your father is, he will communicate differently to you than your mother. My father always spoke to people with respect in an urbane and friendly way. Never talking down to people and not differentiating his tone for anybody. He had a knack for making people feel comfortable and people responded to him well. I think because he always managed to find a common ground.

No.4. Dads give solid dating advice.

Dads know men better than women do. That’s a fact. So, when your dad says “Never bring home a man who doesn’t like Liverpool,” (as Ant did to Jemma) you listen.

No.5. Dad jokes are the best.

I admit, I outsourced this to our friendly AI chatbot and this is what I got:

  1. Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
  2. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  3. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  4. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  5. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
  6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
  7. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

No.6. Dads show us how to love hard.

A dad loves his children unconditionally (much like a mother does), but also knows how to love hard. For example, a child may come home from swimming and say that they absolutely hate it and plead to give it up. Moms might be more inclined to let the child stop the sport, while a father will put down his foot and insist they continue. He reminds the child of all the benefits of being able to swim well (especially living in a coastal town) and is unwavering in his opinion. This is loving hard – not making popular decisions, but rather those that will help the child later on in life. I know this is an over-generalization, but I have seen this play out in so many scenarios that I found it worth mentioning.

No.7. Dads give their daughters affirmation.

Nobody loves a daughter like a dad does. A dad has a special and enduring love for his daughter that is unique. She knows that he thinks she is wonderful and adores her. He is the first man she will love and he sets the bar for any men that come into her life as she gets older. Knowing that your dad loves you, gives a girl confidence and affirmation. Think about how different it feels when a mom tells her daughter she is beautiful compared to when a dad tells her the same thing.

No.8. Dads show their sons how to be men.

It is often said that a dad is a son’s first hero. Sons look up to their dads for advice and guidance and often try to emulate them in many ways. Men try to lead by example and demonstrate the value of grit and hard work. A dad understands what it is to be a man as he has walked that path and can show his son the way.

No.9. Dads have different skills from moms.

Sometimes a dad’s skill set involves power tools and toolboxes, other times it can be herding cattle or using a lawnmower (especially if you have a farm in the Baviaans). My dad had a wonderful financial brain and was good at taking calculated risks,  teaching us to think our decisions through carefully before diving into a new situation.

Dad, thank you for teaching us to venture into the unknown, to never be afraid except of fear itself and that you wil never walk alone. Love Murray-John
Dad taught me the rules of the holy trinity: rugby, cricket and football and ensured that I would never bring home or trust a boy who didn't like Liverpool. Jemma

No.10 Dads like to play sports or do physical activities with their kids.

Dads are also more inclined to get out there and run around with a ball with their kids or get really involved in watching their sporting matches. Let’s face it that in general, men enjoy flinging around frisbees or hitting balls with bats more than moms do. Because they like doing stuff like that they also have some useful hints about how to tackle or how to kick at the right angle. While playing sports together, they also teach their kids how to push themselves a little physically and in pushing themselves and achieving a new goal they realise that they can do more than they think they can.

For many dads, playing sports with their children is a way to be present in their lives. Something that guarantees uninterrupted time and constant interaction.

When in doubt, paddle out – immersing yourself in the sea or water. Nature is the best thing. It grounds you, improves your mood and brings overall happiness.

Ant to Ella

by admin

Ten things I wish I had known in high school - for our younger daisies!

A while back I was asked to speak at my old high school, and the thought of trying to find something relevant to say to a hall full of teenage girls was daunting. What on earth could I say that would be meaningful and uplifting for them? I think when you are fifteen you think that adults should have it all figured out. Of course, we know life doesn’t quite work like that and we learn as we go. But to tell a bunch of kids that hardly any of the adults really know what they are doing didn’t seem like a good idea. So, I outsourced my dilemma to my old schoolmates, asking them what they wish they had known when they were in high school and the following is a compilation of our thoughts.

No.1. There is life after school and lots of it.

Everyone remembers sitting at long school assemblies where some or other speaker tells you that these are the best days of your life and you should make the most of them. Over and over again, we heard the same message.  But looking back, while there were definitely good times in high school, life got better and better after school. Each decade is richer than the last. There is something about learning to accept yourself as you get older, being able to put aside all the insecurities of your younger self. And at some point, you realise and accept that you are who you are; you can’t change how you look, how you feel and what you like. This is when the fun begins. You start wearing whatever you fancy or speaking your mind (knowing that it might not be well-received) and life gets better and richer.

No. 2. Marks and grades aren’t everything.

In the real world, you are not constantly tested upon factoids and getting an A+ isn’t necessarily always the best thing.  Sure, your parents are happy when you get good marks, but I am positive they would be just as proud if they knew you had figured out how to manage your time well, knew and accepted your limitations, and learned to use your resources. These are skills you will need when you leave school. Nobody will ask you what you got for your maths exam in a job interview, but rather what skills you have – can you communicate effectively, can you problem solve?

These things are not taught in books, but rather through applying knowledge you have gained and using what you have. By no means am I advocating, just chilling out and doing nothing (I am sure teachers and parents would kill me for that) and make no mistake, there is no substitute for hard work. But rather, it is more important to enjoy the educational process. Ask questions, discuss and explore areas or things that fascinate you. Find something you love to do and really go for it! This could become a refuge for you later on in life.

Everybody is a genius

Believe it or not, failure or disappointment can be the best thing to happen to you. At these dark points in your life when you feel like you have not succeeded or have not achieved what you set out to, you have the choice to either wallow in what ‘could have been’ or to see it as an opportunity to challenge yourself and adjust your mindset.

When I look back on my life and remember points of change, I remember them often being hard, but I learnt so much about myself and realised that it is not so much what happens to you, but rather how you choose to see the situation. This is how you build resilience – the ability to cope, even when things are tough. This is how you grow. Embrace failure and use it as a springboard to something even better.

No. 4. One size does NOT fit all.

There are many paths to success. You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. In fact, some of the most successful people in the world did not follow a conventional path to success. There is always so much talk about going to university in high school. This may surprise you, but I really wish everyone didn’t go to university. There are so many different paths one can take to achieve one’s dreams. I am sure you have heard of Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Henry Ford, Beyoncé, Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey and Richard Branson. Can you guess what all of these people have in common? None of them graduated from university and some only found success later after doing something else first.

Don’t be afraid to break out of the mould (because more often than not, that mould is something you have cast yourself and it is your barrier to change).

large fish in small fish bowl
CARTOON: CONNIE J. SUR

No. 5. Love yourself.

Just be yourself and accept who you are. You don’t have to fit in. You can be different and you are lovable, no matter how much you like to march to the beat of your own drum.

Someone once told me that you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you (obviously excluding parents, family members and besties). Loving yourself isn’t about vanity or arrogance. It’s about accepting who you are and being comfortable in your own skin. Nobody is perfect and no one has it all figured out. Even when it looks like they have everything together, most of us have our own insecurities. Your inner dialogue is so important. Watch the words that you speak to yourself because they will predict your future.

No. 6 Enjoy being a woman.

There has never been a better time to be a woman. There are more opportunities now for women than ever before. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. You can achieve whatever you set your mind to doing, whether that is being a mechanic or surgeon. Being a confident and successful woman doesn’t mean you have to put aside feminity. Enjoy all that this can mean.

No. 6 Embrace being a man.

If there were ever a time when we needed strong men, it is now. As the world we know changes on a daily basis, we need men more than ever who are not afraid to stand up for what is right. Men who value integrity and are not afraid to voice their opinions without resorting to violence.

Friends jumping for joy

No. 7 Choose your friends wisely.

Surround yourself with people who build you up and don’t break you down. Your peers have a greater impact on you than you realize. Another good friend of mine who is a forensic psychologist explained to me how the group you identify with or the friends you hang out with as a teenager have even more influence on your actions than your parents do. So, choose your tribe wisely and be aware that they will shape who you become later on in life. These friends are gold. Treat them as such.

Local activities to build confidence and make new friends:

No. 8 Look forward.

 

All you have is now and we all need to protect our future. So, stop looking back and focusing on what has been. Look towards a positive future and be part of the change that needs to happen to make it what you want it to be. Be conscious of the world around you and know that the future is defined by your mindset.

In a world where you can be anything be kind

No. 10 Be kind. No exceptions.

My final point is probably the most important of all and if you don’t remember anything else, just remember this – you will never regret being kind and your kindness may have a greater impact than you will ever realise.

A few years ago, I was having a rough time. Nothing was going as planned, I had cancer and was feeling exhausted and deflated. On my way to radiation and then work, I stopped at the Starbucks drive-thru to get my caffeine fix for the morning.  When I got to the window to pay, I was told that the car in front of me had paid for my coffee and wished me a happy day. It was not someone I knew or had had any contact with – yet this simple and random act of kindness touched me so deeply. The car was long gone and I would never know who it was, but I will never forget that moment and how it reminded me of all I had to be grateful for.

PS I have the Collegiate High School Class of ’91’ to thank for all these bits of advice, they continue to be a constant source of inspiration and support. This was taken from a speech I gave at the Founder’s Day of our 30th reunion. Sadly, COVID kept us apart that year, but what a privilege to be able to speak on their behalf. Thank you, Girls of the College.

by admin

Small Town Swaps & Sustainably Dressed Daisies

Choosing blog topics at Dune Daisies is always fun as we get a chance to don our creative hats and think about not only inspiring issues, but also ones we feel would interest our fellow readers. This particular blog was top of our to-do list and grew from a short story that was entered into the St Francis Today monthly writing competition. It began as an account of a feel-good experience of bartering and second-hand clothes shopping in our beautiful town. However, when we delved deeper into the closet of sustainability in the fashion industry, we uncovered a few proverbial skeletons (and they were not dressed for success).

We hope you enjoy the short story and related insights uncovered when we scratched around in the back of the wardrobe.

SMALL TOWN SWOPS: A short story by Sas

Small towns are known for their charm, special ways and individuality. I am sure you’ll agree St Francis Bay is no different. We have our own sports clubs, pizza combos, pale ales, surf breaks and bumper stickers. The views are breath-taking and there is a plethora of unique opportunities for its citizens. And let’s not forget the blissful lack of robots or rush hour.

One of my (many) favourite things about the small town we call home is its brilliant barter system. Have something to offer? There’s a good chance that you will be able to swop it for items you desire. It’s all about knowing the people around you; something which is possible in St Francis Bay. And the beauty of a good barter is that you always give and receive more than the monetary value of the goods in question. I would love to share with you one of my bartering bonanza experiences.

Growing up overseas, I went to a high school where matric dances were not the massive productions that they are here. We borrowed dresses, did each other’s hair and were lucky if a photo or two were taken by the math teacher outside the school hall. So, it was with disbelief that I learnt about the extent and complexity of my daughter Jemma’s upcoming matric dance preparations. The dress code for her school was long and white. Seriously? Make no mistake, I am a huge fan of tradition, but ‘long and white’ sounded very much like a wedding dress to me – help!

Desperate to find a dress that would make both Jemma and our budget happy, I went to my favourite clothing shop; Gently Worn. This boutique is home to not only a wide range of pre-loved clothes, but the owners also happened to be customers of my organic vegetable business. The arrangement we had was this; I would deliver a weekly box of veggies and Angela would translate that into a credit, allowing me to ‘purchase’ her pre-loved clothes. No cash ever changed hands, and we both felt we were getting an amazing deal.

On the hunt for miracle, Jemma and I browsed the rails and there, tucked in between a 70s floral house coat and a maroon jumpsuit, we found an utterly gorgeous, beautifully embroidered white wedding dress. When she stepped behind the changing room curtain to try it on, we all held our breath. She emerged triumphant. Not only did it fit, but she loved it, and it met the dress code! When we arrived at the till to settle up, Angela happily announced that I had enough credit (from my veggie sales) to cover its cost.

The day of the matric dance arrived and Jemma looked stunning, graciously receiving many compliments on her appearance. I overheard a friend of hers asking, “your dress is to die for Jems! Where did you find get it? In Johannesburg? Or did you get it specially designed for you in Cape Town?” Jemma looked over to where Anton and I were standing and, with a slight, sardonic raise of her eyebrow replied, “my mum bought it for a box of vegetables.”

And that is why I love this town.

Understanding the lingo:

Fast Fashion: Fashion that is cheap, quickly manufactured and disposable. Fashion that has a speedy turnaround and aims to bring expensive catwalk trends to the ‘man’ on the street.

Slow Fashion: Similar to sustainable fashion in that it aims to be ethically sourced, environmentally sound, locally made, high quality and honours textile workers’ social & cultural rights.

Thrifting: To shop for used clothing, whether it be at a garage sale, flea market, estate sale, charity store, donation centre, or a used clothing store.

Fashion-flipping: To buy second-hand garments for resale (they can be altered, mended or upcycled before the resale).

Greenwashing: Misleading or deceptive publicity regarding how environmentally friendly a product is.

https://www.greenbiz.com/article/numbers-economic-social-and-environmental-impacts-fast-fashion

The Environmental Impact of Fashion

The equivalent of one garbage truck full of clothes is burned or dumped in a landfill every second (UNEP, 2018)

Approximately 60% of all materials used by the fashion industry are made from plastic (UNEP, 2019)

500,000 tons of microfibers are released into the ocean each year from washing clothes — the equivalent of 50 billion plastic bottles (Ellen MacArthur Foundation, 2017)

That the world of fashion has a lot to answer for in terms of social, ethical and environmental responsibility is nothing new. We have all watched appalled as overcrowded, life-threatening, dehumanising sweatshops have been exposed. We have gasped in horror as rivers turned green, poisoned by chemical effluent from textile factories. And we have averted our eyes and shrugged our shoulders as our teenagers have pressurised us into buying the latest, coolest, fast fashion trends, hot off the catwalk and now in our local malls. Clearly, there are a multitude of destructive social and environmental consequences stemming from the life cycle of a fast fashion garment.

Daisies, it’s time to say goodbye to mindless consumerism and embrace conscious, sustainable, ethical shopping. It’s time to take a moment, pause, breathe deeply and embrace slow fashion. Trust us, you won’t regret it, and importantly, you’ll look good too 😉.

Luckily, we have a number of options at our fingertips: one of which is buying pre-loved clothes. The demand for second-hand garments is set to skyrocket (by up to 185% in the next 10 years vs a paltry 10% increase in fast fashion: thredup.com). The fusty, dingy thrift stores of the ‘80s have been replaced by modern, appealing boutiques, such as Gently Worn. And if digital browsing is more up your alley, there are a variety of online pre-loved and vintage sites on offer.

Gently Worn, and our other favourite, Vintage with Love SA, are not only in the business of acquiring and selling second-hand clothes, but they are also true ethical and sustainability warriors. Vintage with Love SA has donated over R9 million to numerous charities, from their pre-loved goods sales (Pre-loved Clothes | Vintage With Love). And here in St Francis Bay, Angela and her staff at Gently Worn make sure that the clothes received, if not sold, definitely do not end up polluting a landfill. Any unwanted items are boxed and donated to Freddie Van Rooyen. As well as being part of Kouga Disaster Management, Freddie also runs an NPO in Jeffrey’s Bay called Masikhathaleleneni. His outreach covers the entire Kouga region and all who live there, providing clothing, furniture and food parcels to those in need. In exchange for Gently Worn’s unwanted clothes, Freddie donates food to the soup kitchens in St Francis Bay. And last Christmas, his organisation provided festive food hampers to 10 local needy families (who had been identified by Pastor Andrew Vena and Catherine Falconer of the Green Box (greenboxorders).

So fellow daisies, even if you are struggling to adjust to the thought of buying pre-loved, please consider a visit to your local thrift shop, and ensure that your unwanted garments find a new home in a skeleton-free closet.

OTHER WAYS TO FIND YOUR ETHICAL FASHION GROOVE

https://stylesociety.co.za/insideout-for-fashion-revolution-day/

The fashion industry is responsible for 8-10% of humanity’s carbon emissions – more than all international flights and maritime shipping combined (UNEP, 2018). If the fashion sector continues on its current trajectory, that share of the carbon budget could jump to 26% by 2050 (Ellen MacArthur Foundation, 2017)

Some 93 billion cubic metres of water – enough to meet the needs of five million people – is used by the fashion industry annually, contributing significantly to water scarcity in some regions (UNCTAD, 2020)

Around 20% of industrial wastewater pollution worldwide originates from the fashion industry (WRI, 2017)

WHERE TO FIND YOUR NEXT VINTAGE GARMENT:

Instagram/online shops: wolf_the_vintage_store  /  vintagelovercpt / vinatgewithlovesa

Whatsapp & Telegram groups: Pre-loved St Francis Bay

Markets:

Boutiques: Gently Worn / SPCA & Hospice shops in Jeffreys Bay

by admin